At times, offenders may be asked to write a letter of apology as a result of taking part in a conference. It can often be a hard thing for people to do, so the Restorative Justice Unit (RJU) has put together some helpful hints.
What is a letter of apology?
It's a way of telling everyone that you are sorry for what you did. Your letter should be in your own words and tell people how you feel about the offence now that you have participated in a conference and listened to what everyone has said.
What do you need to put in the letter of apology?
Try to make your letter of apology personal. You may want to write in your letter:
- important things said in the conference;
- how being in the conference made you feel;
- how you feel about the offence now;
- any changes in your life since the conference; and
- what you felt when you heard about how everyone was affected.
Things to think about:
- It will be much easier if you write the letter soon after the conference, while everything is still fresh in your mind;
- Check your agreement to make sure you have lots of time to write it and get it to the RJU for forwarding to the victim;
- Take a look at the 'Helpful hints for writing an apology letter' below to help you get started and how to structure your letter;
- Take a look at the outline for an apology letter we have developed and fill in the blanks and add any additional information you might like to include in the letter;
- Get someone to help you if you need it. Ask a family member, friend or call the RJU if you need some help.
After you have written your letter of apology, please bring it in or send it to the RJU:
Restorative Justice Unit
Justice & Community Safety Directorate
GPO Box 158
CANBERRA ACT 2601
Helpful Hints For Writing An Apology Letter
You should consider using the following as a guide to structure and a way to set out your letter of apology.
1. Reason for writing – Make a statement about the concerns for everyone’s feelings about the offence or offences. For example:
- I am writing to you because I am feeling _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ about how I have treated you.
- I am writing to you because I am feeling _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ about you and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ about what I have put you through.
2. Statement of apology – Give clear and specific details of the offence and harm caused. For example:
- I am very sorry for _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
- I want to apologise for _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
3. Statement of responsibility – Make a statement about who is responsible for what happened. For example:
- I know I am fully responsible for what happened and my actions that day. I should not have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ because _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
- I know _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (co-offenders names if appropriate) and I are responsible for what happened that day. I know I am accountable for my actions and the choices I made that day. We should not have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ because _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
4. Understanding of impact to others – Write about what you have learnt about how the offence has impacted on people. For example:
- I am starting to realise some of what I have put you through. It must have been _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ when _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
- I must have frightened you _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
- I betrayed you by _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
5. What are you doing about changing your behaviour – Let the people you are writing to know what you are doing to change your behaviour or going to do so you don’t get into trouble again. For example:
- I am seeing a counsellor so that I can make sure that nothing like this will happen again. I have learnt _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
- I am learning to understand what I have put you through and I am working out what I need to do so I don’t to get into the same situation again. I know I should _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
6. Statement about distancing – Let people know that you are not coming back to hurt them again. For example:
- I will stay away for your home/shop and your family/staff as I do not want to cause any of you any further hurt.
7. Recurrences – Write about your readiness and ability to face consequences. For example:
- I know I must take responsibility for my actions. I know that I have committed a criminal offence as well as betraying you. I am ready to handle whatever consequences that I will have to face by you, my family, the community and the Police/Court.
8. Future intentions – Let the people you are writing to you know about your goals and plans for the future. For example:
- I am turning my life around and I am now _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (list what you are doing i.e. getting counselling, looking for a job, got a job or traineeship, back at school etc).
- Since the conference I have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
- If I see you or your family members I will be respectful.
- I believe that you have every right to feel angry and betrayed.
- I am not asking for you to forgive me I just want you to know that I am really sorry for what I did to you.
Outline For An Apology Letter
Below is an outline for a letter of apology. Think of what you could put into the blank spaces and what other details you could add to the letter.
Dear _________,
I am writing to apologise for __________________________
____________________________________________________.
After meeting you at the conference and hearing _______
____________________________________________________.
I now realise ________________________________________
____________________________________________________.
At the moment I am aiming to _______________________
____________________________________________________.
Again, I would like to say ____________________________
for what I have done.
Your sincerely,
Firstname
~~~
Below is a example of a letter of apology:
Dear John,
I am writing to you to apologise for breaking the windows in your house. It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it.
After meeting you at the conference and hearing how it affected you and your family I now know how much it hurt each of you. I am terribly sorry that it costed you all that money to replace the window and because it was night you had to board the windows up until morning. It must have been cold that night for you and your family. You taught me an important lesson about respecting other people's property.
I now realise that what I did was extremely stupid and I wish I'd thought harder about my actions and how it would affect people.
At the moment I am aiming to complete my year 10 certificate and then I want to go to trade school or get an apprenticeship to become an electrician.
Again, I am very sorry for the harm I have caused you and your family.
Your sincerely,
Jack
