You should consider using the following as a guide to structure and a way to set out your letter of apology.

1. Reason for writing – Make a statement about the concerns for everyone’s feelings about the offence or offences. For example:

• I am writing to you because I am feeling _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ about how I have treated you.
• I am writing to you because I am feeling _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ about you and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ about what I have put you through.

2. Statement of apology – Give clear and specific details of the offence and harm caused. For example:

• I am very sorry for _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
• I want to apologise for _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

3. Statement of responsibility – Make a statement about who is responsible for what happened. For example:

• I know I am fully responsible for what happened and my actions that day. I should not have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  because _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
• I know _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (co-offenders names if appropriate) and I are responsible for what happened that day. I know I am accountable for my actions and the choices I made that day. We should not have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ because _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

4. Understanding of impact to others – Write about what you have learnt about how the offence has impacted on people. For example:

• I am starting to realise some of what I have put you through. It must have been _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ when _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
• I must have frightened you _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
• I betrayed you by _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

5. What are you doing about changing your behaviour – Let the people you are writing to know what you are doing to change your behaviour or going to do so you don’t get into trouble again. For example:

• I am seeing a counsellor so that I can make sure that nothing like this will happen again. I have learnt _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
• I am learning to understand what I have put you through and I am working out what I need to do so I don’t to get into the same situation again. I know I should _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

6. Statement about distancing – Let people know that you are not coming back to hurt them again. For example:

• I will stay away for your home/shop and your family/staff as I do not want to cause any of you any further hurt.

7. Recurrences – Write about your readiness and ability to face consequences. For example:

• I know I must take responsibility for my actions. I know that I have committed a criminal offence as well as betraying you. I am ready to handle whatever consequences that I will have to face by you, my family, the community and the Police/Court.

8. Future intentions – Let the people you are writing to you know about your goals and plans for the future. For example:

• I am turning my life around and I am now _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (list what you are doing i.e. getting counselling, looking for a job, got a job or traineeship, back at school etc).
• Since the conference I have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
• If I see you or your family members I will be respectful.
• I believe that you have every right to feel angry and betrayed.
• I am not asking for you to forgive me I just want you to know that I am really sorry for what I did to you.